Fuck this world. I'm beyond help. Nobody understands my pain, nobody seems able to help me ease my pain. Try as I might to contribute to this world I'm seen as ...a burden. My poor parents despair, my wife can't cope with me, I can't cope with myself, my son loves me, I try to be at peace with the world and myself, to help others where I can, to shine some happiness into their lives where I can but inside I'm a complete mess, a complete fuck up. Yesterday I lost €3500, then somehow I won it back again, then today I lost it again. Why? I don't know. But I've been seeking help, from reading, from talking with others, from ringing the Samaritans, from ringing Citizens Advice, from the doctor, from the psychiatrist. In the meantime I am dealing with these demons I can't control them anymore. I am shit, worthless piece of crap that can't support my family. We lost our house, I'm going to lose my house again, I can't hold a job, I'm worth nothing to this shit world. Fuck this world. Fuck it.
