Although I have lived with gambling addiction for more than 25 years of my life it has taken me til this point in my life to find the way to overcome the addiction, although I will always be at risk of relapse.
What we now know through groundbreaking scientific research by Dr Luke Clark an expert in problem gambling from Cambridge University is that a gambling addict or problem gamblers brain is wired differently. (see 43 mins into this documentary, link below)
I have struggled with stigma associated with my gambling illness all my life including within my own immediate family. I was not in contact with my parents and two of my three brothers and sisters for six years of my life because of gambling, and it has taken a long time for them to understand and be able to show empathy rather than disgust.
Being a problem gamber is lonely, and the stigma associated with gambling addiction is unpleasant. I have talked about acceptance and self belief being for me the most important ingredients for my recovery and the reason is that over the years and because of my gambling people have constantly put me down and criticized:
'stupid', 'all his fault', 'not responsible', 'bad apple', 'disruptive', 'dishonest', 'bad with money', 'greedy', 'a lost cause', and so on.
I am proud of myself and my achievements in life living with this illness, and I am proud of the responsibility and ownership I have taken to overcome this addiction, and I am proud of myself that I can talk about it, even when it is hard to change years and years of negative perceptions of people who struggle with gambling addiction. I am not angry, and I ask for forgiveness from those I hurt over the years.
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